From now on...

I am going to post a picture of the day. Well starting Jan 1st. I want to improve on my photograhpy.

I'm adding a picture from the holiday party that happened last night. I was afraid it was oging to be awkward/boring b/c I didn't really know anyone except like 3 people... but it turned out to be a blast!! Danced, had fun and all in all did NOT make an ass of myself and was not drunk... important note: never get wasted at a work party... its just a no no :P.

In th epic from left to right is Jamie (a co-worker) Executive Chef De Bruyn , me, Rey (upstairs sous) and Lucie (Another co-worker) MY camera died so I couldn't take pics of David (exec pastry chef) Vanessa (co-worker) or Angela (works upstairs in kitchen)

Forever contemplating.

Lost.

Abandoned.

Still searching for what's right.

Fumbling around in confusion

Always searching and wondering.

I wish I could forgive you.

I wish I could forgive myself.

Chocolate Competition!!

I'm super excited I am getting closer to figuring out what I am wanting to enter in the competition...

http://www.lartduchocolatier.com/about-the-contest.html

I know I prob won't place or anything, but its still exciting! I'm kind of just making stuff up as I go... and NO to some people, I am not using a lot of hazelnut paste lol. Although I was tempted!! I will update more when I get the chance. I might also be working with a friend on it. She wants to do a chocolate cake. So we'll see what comes of that. Some of my friends are entering and they have some awesome ideas I don't think I can compete with :(.

On a side note: The garnish is sooo hard to come up with when it should be the easiest!! Could I use a marshmellow for garnish?? Homemade and cut out??? UGH. So hard.

hmmm maybe a piped merngue thingy could work!

ohhh atm my components include: a frozen maple chocolate parfait and a chocolate caramel pecan bourbon/rum (haven't decided which) sauce. Maybe the Parfait can sit on a chocolate short dough disk...still need garnish and a cool innovative plate design though! Wish me luck! And my friends that are entering for that matter!!

As I lay awake at night...

Alone and in my bed for a few minutes there is always that 'deafening' silence. Not to be all cheesy but in a completely silent room, with only yourself, stop a minute and turn off the TV or your computer and listen. REALLY listen. The sound of nothing is SO loud! Also sort of depressing. I guess it comes with the territory. Living alone. Getting caught up in daily rituals it's hard to realize it until just before bed. The lights off. TV off. Phone tucked away ready for the alarm to go off in the morning. Not even the slightest hint of a cricket. Just pure and utter silence. It's as though your brain tries to compensate for the silence and creates the ever so slightest muffled ringing noise. In doing so making it echo and amplifying it by a bajillion. I suppose there are worse things. Nails screeching on the chalkboard, a baby crying non-stop for four hours, the school oven timers going off and still sounding five minutes later because no one quieted them. People are social creatures.  Don't live in silence forever, or you may go deaf.

Mood: Feeling homesick.